To Sandra, Rhiannon, Otaz, and all you ladies.

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Die prematurely tonight!

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[Lengo]

Please see this:

http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1376144

Sound like what you're lookin' for? Act now!

 

[wenrus]

I have just read your story, Thank-you for a great laugh, tears were streaming down ,
it has made my day.  What a great sense of humour .  wendy

[Sandra]

I have to confess It's a dream come true for me, what more could a woman want,  I had my bags all packed and my ticket booked, then I saw this........................

We only need electricty for one hour a day -- from 6:30 pm to 7:30 pm, so we can eat our dinner and watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy,

WHEEL OF FORTUNE ................. JEOPARDY.............

I could NEVER live with a man who watches shows like that, shame on you Lengo, you've shattered my hopes and dashed my dreams into a million pieces
 .......................< Ralph says he'll fix you for making me cry.

[Lengo]

could NEVER live with a man who watches shows like that, shame on you Lengo, you've shattered my hopes and dashed my dreams into a million pieces 

Dang! Well.... just think of the togetherness! Isn't that what it's all about? Sheesh! Women! You just can't please 'em, no matter what.

Oh well! I guess I'll be going to Dairy Queen all by myself, same as usual. But please tell me that you're not holding out for one of them deluxe skillets -- one with a lid. That would break my heart, knowing that you're just a gold digger.


Thanks Wendy. Your comment is appreciated. At least yours were tears of laughter, though mine are tears of anguish. Hell. It's been over 8 hours and I've had no takers yet! I'm starting to feel desperate!

[RhiannOn]

     

That is some great writing!!!  But I have to agree with Sandra about the "double Jeopardy" bit...... 

Ever thought about taking up short story writing for Children/adults?

[Lengo]

Now just what's wrong with Wheel and Jeopardy? These are great shows and the proof is in their longevity. They've been on for 25 years!

I like Wheel 'cause I can solve the puzzles. It's fun yelling "you stupid! You shoulda asked for a K!" It feels good knowing that I'm smarter than some, and it feels good rooting for somebody I think deserves to win. That's real entertainment! Wheel is one reality show that is worth watching.

I like Jeopardy 'cause, believe it or don't, every once in a while I hear something that gets me doing some research on the Net -- it's inspiring at times. And it's entertaining, too.  I can feel proud when I get an answer right and none of the contestants do. And I like hating 'know it alls' and walking encyclopedias.  I like seeing 'em stumble. But then again, there's people that I want to see win. There's some real ladies and gentlemen on Jeopardy sometimes.  They deserve to win. Those that don't deserve it and do, I like hating 'em. Can't beat that now, can ya?

It's a darn good thing you gals didn't apply for the position. We wouldn't get along whatsoever! If you don't like Wheel, then me and you ain't fit for being together! You'd end up hating me outta jealousy, 'cause I can whoop ya at Wheel! 

Ever thought about taking up short story writing for Children/adults?

Yes, and I've been encouraged to do so a number of times by a number of people. I'm considering it again, but I won't be writing stories. Essays are my thing. Writing  beats gaming, which I have lost all interest in, so I'm considering it again. I just may do dat. 

I got one problem, though. I don't read. I just don't like to. So, I'm wondering how I can write if I'm not a reader. Oh! I've read a little, and enjoyed what I've read. Favorites are Hemmingway, Thomas Hardy, Poe, Mark Twain (probably my biggest influence) and a lot of poetry, believe it or don't. Good poetry can send your spirit soaring, and delight both your sensitivity and your eyes -- there's something visual about it. But most poetry is less than mediocre, and likewise, most of it is a waste of time, so Ill stick to essays if I persue this. Good poetry is beyond me.  Being funny and insightful isn't.

I've got some things to say too, some of which will get some powerful people all riled up and furious with me. That's a good sign. But mainly I just wanna entertain. Writing comes fairly naturally, and I'm pretty good at it. I have a large vocabulary, know how to use punctuation, and also know how to bend the rules for effect without crossing over the line and sounding like an amateur. My sister says its one of my Gifts. I'm thinking I should put it to use. I just may do that. We'll see.

But... I just don't see how you can pass up jack rabbit stew! And I didn't mention the occasional rattlesnake, barbecued over a mesquite fire. But I figger that if you don't like Wheel and Jeopardy, you probably have no taste at all, and probably wouldn't appreciate my recipe for jackrabbits. Your loss! There's no accounting for taste, good or bad, and I'll be danged if I'm gonna be the one that teaches you the difference between the two. 

p.s. I bet you don't have no tools for fixing the truck when it breaks down, so what good are you anyways! 

[Sandra]

Oh well! I guess I'll be going to Dairy Queen all by myself, same as usual. But please tell me that you're not holding out for one of them deluxe skillets -- one with a lid. That would break my heart, knowing that you're just a gold digger.

The Skillet is inconsequensial, it's what I can cook in the Skillet that counts, and a plain ol' iron Skillet is just what I need to make pan fried Jack Rabbit with Skillet scrapings, adding just a smidgeon of flaked Rattlesnake skin, with a possum sauce to die for.
I laugh in the face of your Stewed Rabbit
But I surely do applaud your story.

p.s. I bet you don't have no tools for fixing the truck when it breaks down, so what good are you anyways! 

Ahem...I'd like to meet the truck that would dare break down on me.

[RhiannOn]

     
 
Gosh, I wish I could think up replies like that Sandra  .   Hey maybe you and Lengo could write a story together, now that would be SOME story 

[City Builder]

Well damn man, he sounds like such a catch I was considering switching teams.  Wow what a catch!  You can never have enough stills.

[Lengo]

with a possum sauce to die for.

POSSUM SAUCE! OH MAN! Can't you see you see what I'm sayin'? I LOVE YOU! 

maybe you and Lengo could write a story together, now that would be SOME story!

It's already written in the stars! It's prettier'n the story of Anthony and Cleopatra! It's lovelier than Romeo and Juliet!  It's even more romantic than a whole case of Hallmark greeting cards!

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways....

1. Jackrabbit stew for breakfast
2. Barbecued Rattlesnake on a stick
3. POSSUM STEW!

If you married me, I'd be the luckiest man in the world! I'd give anything for you.... erm, cept my jug of moonshine, but I'd let you and only you drink outta it besides me!

Now you got me all tearied eyed and pining for you! Dang! HOW COME YOU GOTTA LIVE HALF WAY ROUND THE WORLD?