Where were you when the Legend Of Ralphie was Born?

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[MaxBeta]

   <--------This is Ralphie  ...... Mmm? ---------> so is this------->   

Yep he is about the most prolific emo any forums has ever had..  don't think so??  Just check Any of the 2007 Holiday threads..it will speak for itself.

I suppose a little history on Ralphie is in order..  He starts out as a timid lil Santa helper..  then Unitedcat has suddenly lost his wallet.   Now we are in need of a prime suspect.. uh huh...lil Ralphie.  To make matters worse..he's on the lam with one of Santa's new Mercedes..Xmas edition.. and things go downhill from this point for Ralphie.. well one would think so.

Now to recover from such dire straits...and not include Telegraph Road would be saying Ralphie just didn't take on a life of his own.. he had ample assistance.  Well until Unitedcat remembered he had a collectible dollar silver certificate..and then the dire straits turned to Money for Nothing..and Unitedcat was very concerned..who wouldn't.  Ralphie was spotted Down by the Waterline..and ducking a diving..finally ditched that new ride.. the local authorities were closing in.. *blink* then POof!!  he's gone like the one armed leprechaun he appears to be.  But we're not giving up..not in the genetic makeup of any red-blooded Swedish gaming whiz..  like in our faithful Unitedcat.

The problem with escapees..is Raphie HAS to be someWHERE.. so after a global High and low..WHALLA!!  Guess who is Twisting by the Pool and in dire straits immediately..our Private Investigations has paid off..Ralphie's is on the run once again.  He dashes down the Mall..almost gets overrun by a wild snowmobile in downtown Gavle(sp) {my KB won't do Swedish font..sorry}..amazingly he makes it and ducks into the Tunnel of Love..Mmm? must be a Swedish Mall attraction..it figures  hehe.  I realize that part of the world is attached to the story of Romeo and Juliet, so makes sense.

What happens when Ralphie emerges from the tunnel attraction?  HAng-ON!!..there's a live update coming over the wire.  HE's caught..captured!!  WOOhOO!!.. the local and very well trained law enforcement have done their sworn duty.. Interviewing the arresting officer..he relates how he nabbed Ralphie.. standing next to a Bus stop he said to Ralphie..Where DO you Think you're Going?... Ralphie realizes this isn't just a rosie Walk of Life..attempts to bolt.. not this time.

So like Brothers in Arms..Ralphie and Officer march off to Police headquarters.. Unitedcat retrieves his lost items.. Ralphie confesses..wants Rehab..so he can "change" his ways.. The Judge says.. who do think I AM ..The Sultans of Swing??... but on a second thought, ReHab is not such a bad idea.. makes me feel like a I'm in a L.A. court..and almost Celebrity for sure... and thus the Legend Of Ralphie is born.. if only in our virtual minds 

Sub-story Within my post lies the Secrets of a Musical legend.. if you want to take the time list the Artist and the song list.  EVERYone is welcome to post whatever comments, additions or insert commentary to my original.. Ralphies life no doubt is/was much more complex than just what I related..so anything is alright.  Legends live by what we share about them.   

Thanks for enduring my caffeine induced composition..please   

Long live Ralphie....

[City Builder]

I can only share that the only reason why we see Ralphie in profile is because as a young lad he shot is other eye out with his Red Ryder BB rifle/gun.

[Sandra]

I was right here on this forum:
Ralphie will only allow his good side to be photographed, he is quite vain that way
.........see any amount of putting his likeness on the post results in 'his good side',
The legend of Ralphie as Max says, was born on the quiet side, with Ralph only getting bolder as he became more villianous, the fact that it's only Unitedcat who's felt Ralphies light-fingeredness remains a mystery, if the law has caught up with the little reprobate, I doubt if it will hold him for long.
The musical legend is (I think) "Dire Straits" but I only recognise a couple of songs.
Money for Nothing.
Walk of Life.
Nice post Max

[Lengo]

 

I don't think he's villanous. I'd say he's pathologically mischievious. Of course, shooting your eye out with a BB gun would have a dramatic effect on anyone's development, but my sympathy only goes so far. He better straighten up, or else!

Though he's a rascal, you just gotta love him. He's like a puppy. He means well, and wants to do the right thing, but just doesn't know how. All we can do is love him and hope he comes around. Give him your love and for sure, DON'T let him hang out with the wrong crowd! Can you imagine him campaigning for Hillary! GADS! The horror!

[MaxBeta]

   Thanks for adding those comments folks.. I've been learning how to work my Espresso machine..a recent present.  All kinds of flavors.. yummy lattes if I want to go to the trouble.

Sandra..that's very observant of the songs and artist.  and Correct.  It just happen to be a old favorite of mine.  I'll wait and see if UC can pick out he rest of the Album as I sort of inserted it into the story..for additional flavor..  Umm? or to go with my cup of cinnamon spiced Cafe Royale.. tasty but not for an everyday coffee break.. 

I have to concede to Lengo's assessment... give the little guy a chance, not doubt more escapades are in Ralphies future.. and could already be in motion for all we know.

CB...has the handle on perception.. poor lil guy ..alternatively he could have some of those One Eyed purple People Eaters in his ancestry too.  It has been documented that genetic background..can play a role in these forum character's personality.   Remember Ore Taz's Eggbert H.(Humpty) FogHorn the XCIX's (99).. tragic saga.   

..so UC want to take stab on the music??... 

[Unitedcat]

Great Job !!  The Legend of Ralphie  

Hmm Legends tend to have some Truth in them--- Compared to myths which are usually less true.

But I think it's great that Ralphie have found a Home on this Forum--- He is in need of a permanent place to stay  

Ralphie Ralphie well I think he is a "Jack of all trades". He has proven that already I figure. My wallet and all  

So Ralphie might have more then one arm. The other arm(s) move so fast that we can't see them....

I Welcome   to this Forum and hope he likes it and that he behaves...


I can't see my 'dollar bill' here..... Is that    No it can't be  

We can't blame Ralphie for everything--- But but   ------->  

HELP he's a shapeshifter  


Well about the Music , I need more time Max 
I even noticed "Bus Stop" in your post....

Sandra must remember the song "Bus Stop"   <------- Bus Driver too 

[Sandra]

Max: an expresso maker.... yummy, all we can hear is the slurp... slurp .....gurgle... gurgle splat..splat as the coffee is percolating

Ralphie looks very at home here on the forum, he told me in a secrative tone that he came here to cause a bit of bovver, but ended up liking it so much he only caused a wee fuss, he says he can't promise to behave in future, as he has kleptomaniac tendancies that can't easily be stifled (yes he said that ) but he'll try to rein himself in,
he laughed off the episode where he lost his eye saying, "I shook my presents at the wrong guy and he took umbrage as well as my eye", I decided not to press the matter.
So YES!! welcome indeed Ralph, don't give us too much aggro or we may just relieve you of your remaining eye. 
 

[Sandra]

Remember Ore Taz's Eggbert H.(Humpty) FogHorn the XCIX's (99).. tragic saga.   

HAH I remember it well, we never did put that puppy to bed.

Sandra must remember the song "Bus Stop"

Remember it I was the one getting wet through sharing my brolly with some geezer who didn't have one

[Lengo]

That thing that Ralphie is waving.... it's not a present, it's a book! It's titled "To Serve Man"!! It's a cookbook!

RALPHIE IS FROM OUTTER SPACE!

[pad11]

Ralphie is being vilified in the press