I'm probably getting surgery

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Die prematurely tonight!

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[Lengo]

I know what you're thinking -- Some people will do anything to get attention.

To be honest, I'm freakin' terrified. Moreover, I'm skeptical. If the doc wasn't getting $15000 for this, I would have no reason to doubt his recommendation. The surgery has been authorized by my insurer, so it's ready to rock, but I'm not. I need fear management. I need confidence in this guy (I've only met him once). And I want my mommy!

But I guess this is the right thing to do. Nothing else is working or has worked. But I'm not sure that this gonna work either. Sill, this pain is making me literally crazy. It just won't stop! I'm tired of the agony.

SAVE ME, ZORRO! 

[MaxBeta]

   You'll never alone with those feelings..terrified and skeptical are a natural reaction.  I've been there.. and living to tell of my procedures..I can't say it made a Zorro out of me either.  We all know the Doctors are after the green stuff..not because it says In God We Trust..either.  We just have to be strong enough to trust them on "face value" and figure we are tough enough to make it.. no matter what.   

Keep us posted.. and if it is an avenue toward giving you the prospect of a more pain free life.. that would be a grand 2008 gift.   

[Unitedcat]

One thing I know is that the Doctors who is doing Surgery is very very good.
Actually the Surgeons is absolutely the most Professional People there is in a Hospital 

Try to gain strength Lengo!!

Try focus your mind on the Result !! --- It's the best thing to do 

[pad11]

Lengo, focus on the PAIN MEDICATION!!!


It will be fine, now that's easy for me to say, it's not me...but as long as you're healthy otherwise (i.e., other than what's getting 'surgified'!), you're body is an amazingly strong thing and you'll do just great!!!

Still, can't hurt to have one more 'Good Luck!!' in the bank!

So good luck Lengo!

later,
pat!

[Sandra]

Put another good luck in the bank from me as well.
Most people are scared of surgery Lengo, you're in good company, and look at it this way, if it alleviates your pain, it surely is worth it.

[Lengo]

Well thanks. Yeah, it will be worth it, but there's a possibility that it won't work. A disk in my neck will be removed. This does not always work and sometimes can even make things worse. So, it's frightening.

Today was a relatively good day. That's good. I needed a day off. I hope it witll stay like this tomorrow too.

Thanks for the well wishes.

[pad11]

Lengo....hang in there, we're thinking of you!  Well, not that that will actually help in the OR, but we ARE thinking of you!!!

pat!

[Sandra]

Well thanks. Yeah, it will be worth it, but there's a possibility that it won't work. A disk in my neck will be removed. This does not always work and sometimes can even make things worse. So, it's frightening.

Oh dear, that's not good, we'll all keep our fingers crossed for you, and hope that the surgery will work, you certainly don't want it to be worse than it is.

[Lengo]

The thing that bothers me most is this is done outpatient. It's done in their clinic then I come home immediately. I have noboby to help me. As it is, I can barely think straight to make the decision due to the meds and the pain (the meds don't help entirely, and they make you stoned). I'm pretty sure that the post-op pain will be a little worse, and already I can hardly get things done as it is. At best, I'm good for three hours before I gotta lay down. Sitting up, I'm good for four hours maximum. I can't get comfortable sitting up or laying down, and the pain is constant. I have nobody to help me with my daily stuff now, and I have nobody to help me after the surgery. Nobody is here. Nobody can come. I'm in it alone. And I'm stoned.

The bones are suppose to fuse together on their own once the disks are removed. If they don't, then I'll need surgery to get that done. And I gotta be up and cooking and doing this and that while it's healing? I can barely do these things now! Everybody is either too sick or too busy to help me. I'm suppose to find my own help, but I'm too stoned to tell people what I need. I can't even think to ask the right questions!

I gotta get somebody here. Thats all there is to it. But I don't knw where to start outside of family, and I have none -- not even any to help me find some help! I don't know where to get it. I don't know what to ask for. And I'm scared as hell. I don't even have someone here for reassurance.

I don't even want to think about it. I don't want to face it.

[pad11]

Lengo, any former colleagues nearby who could help?  Folks you worked with or socialized with that, for a few days, could pop by a few times a day to make sure you're doing alright?