Well, Grandmother was finally able to pass...

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[City Builder]

I got a call from my mother last night about 7pm saying that I needed to leave this weekend open because everybody believed that my grandmother would pass on this weekend.  I then got another call at about 9pm telling me that it had happened. 

Helen Solon
April 16, 1907 - March 22, 2007
Beloved grandmother and long time best friend.

The world will be a sadder place without her.

Thankfully she went very peacefully.  She ended up passing at home in her favorite recliner chair with her full time nurse by her side.  The paramedics arrived at the house just a minute before her lifetime doctor arrived.  They had put the breathing tube down her throat and were about to try to resusitate her when her doctor walked in and stopped them.

Apparently she has some sort of document that says "Do Not Ressusitate"  But the copy that was in her room was only a copy and didnt have a seal on it or something like that, but one of the housekeepers was able to quickly find the official document so the paramedics didn't try.

I'm so thankfull that she went peacefully, the nurse told us last night when  we all arrived at the house that she had been watching a movie and closed her eyes, the nurse went to check her pulse and it was very very weak.  The nurse called the doctor and 911.  She passed on at 8:42PM, just three weeks shy of her 100th birthday of which grandma said that she didn't want a party this year.

When my mother first called me, I had asked her if they were taking her into the hospital, and my mother said no.  A hospital is a place to go and die.  And it would be better if grandma was going to die, that she be allowed to do it in her own home without people prodding and poking her in some cold hospital room.

My mother had just left for Los Angeles this morning and had this bad feeling about leaving that day and my dad kept trying to turn the car around and head back to the desert.  But they ended up going into LA.

I believe that my grandmother would probably not have passed on if my mother had stayed in the desert, as I believe my grandmother has only been hanging on the last several years because of my mother and it had finally gotten to the point where her body has so greatly weakend and that my mother was away from her that she was finally able to pass on.

When I arrived at the house at about 10:00, I sat with my grandmother and held her hand for about 1 1/2 hours and I swear by my soul that I felt her squeeze my hand twice ever so lightly.  I held one hand and my mother held the other.  Im not a believer in a traditional God, but I do believe that there is something that comes after life and I am also a firm believer that when someone passes we should not move the body for at least 3 hours so that the spirit or soul has time to leave the body in peace.  The funeral home workers arrived at 11:00 PM and I explained the situation to my mother about the three hours so the funeral home workers had to wait a while before they could take her body.

It seems very strange to me that the image that is stuck in my mind of my grandmother is the one of her lying there dead instead of the many other images that I used to always conjure up when thinking about her.

The thing that finalized it for me was when the two funeral workers picked up her body and put it on the gurney and then wrapped the sheet around her, that's an image that will stick in my mind for the rest of my life I think.

I told everybody else to leave the room when they were going to take the body out because I know that sometimes it is very unpleasant to watch because a dead body is like a sack of potatos and sometimes people have to really man-handle the body to move it around.  So everybody but myself and the nurse left the room.  They were about to try to lift her up and I told them to just take the sheet (which is pink, her favorite color) as well as the blanket underneath her (also pink) so that it would make moving the body from the bed to the gurney easier on them and less stress on the body.  When you pickup a reasonably fresh dead body it is quite limp, and usually one person grabs the ankles and the other the torso but it's really hard to move a body like that and do it gently.

They said they didn't know what would become of the sheet and blanket.  What?  Were they thinking we were going to wash them and reuse them?  I instructed them that they were to burn them or to throw them out and that we didn't want them back under any condition.

This facilitated moving the body in a gentle fashion which I was quite pleased about.

It's just oh so final when they do that final wrap with the white sheet over the body.

I believe that her funeral will be on Monday in Los Angeles followed by lunch for all attendants at my grandmothers favorite place (Hillcrest country club).

[MaxBeta]

I am so sorry for your loss and the heavy heart that accompanies this time.  I'm sincerely appreciative that you shared with us your observations as it may assist others at some similar point in life's experiences.

Your courage is remarkable..please know that I immediately shed tears abundantly when a dear friend loses their best friend.  My prayers go out to you and your family.

[Lengo]

Sorry to hear that, but she had a long life. You do the same! Don't dwell on this too much. She wouldn't want that.

[Sandra]

I'm sorry to hear you've lost your Grandmother CB, nearly 100!! a remarkably long life, I hope longevity runs in your family
She would have left her body long before she was moved, all you saw was her shell, she'll be up there looking down and smiling, think of her as looking at you smiling, not as you last saw her that image will soon leave your mind, and remember no one really dies, not when there are people to remember them,
Please accept my sincere condolences.

[Unitedcat]

I'm very sorry about your loss CB.
I know that when a very old relative/friend passes away you feel the same,
or worse grief.

About her age. If I may I would say she was 100 when she passed away...

I mean what is +/- 3 weeks in 100 years.

My condolences to you and your Family.

[Oregon Taz]

Hello CB,

The passing of a close friend or relative is always sad, but I am very happy that your Grandma passed on peacefully and at home, which I'm sure will help ease your pain.

My heartfelt condolences, Taz

[Lengo]

OregonTaz said best. I can't improve on that.

Thank the lord she had a long life. Thank Him that she died peacefully. You have just been blessed!!

 

A heartfelt condolence though. I know your pain.

[City Builder]

Thanks all,

The funeral was held back by a day (theres a huge amount of red tape to go through to get someone buried), and was today.

I returned home a couple hours ago to find a new flower on a cactus plant that I had planted many many months ago and it quite suprised me because this plant had nearly died by lack of water on my part but I've been working real diligently to try to bring it back and it makes me wonder if grandma had something to do with the flower...

Anyway, it was a lovely service, though I barely made it through my reading. (I'll copy and paste what I read at the service below).  At the end of the service we let loose over 200 pink balloons (her favorite color is pink) into the sky.  Just as we released them a huge amount of wind kicked up and the balloons took off really fast making for something really special to watch.

I thought all the balloons were gone when I looked up one more time and I saw one lone balloon silhoueted by a white puffy cloud that was surrounded by dark stormy sky.  It made me think of my grandmother going off to the heavens.

I wrote a letter to my grandmother last night for todays reading and last night I never thought I'd be able to get through the reading of it today, but I managed to keep myself together long enough to finish it.

I think I went the opposite of my mothers plans because she wanted this to be a happy end to my grandmothers long life and there was barely a dry eye in the building when I sat back down.

Still, Im glad that I got to read it to everybody there.

--------------------------

Dear Grandma,

I've said I love you so many times, but I've never really told you why.


I love you for all of your wisdom and guidance.  No matter what the circumstance might have been, you always had  the right answer.

I love you because you were strong when I couldn't be.

I love you because you were always ready to listen and you showed genuine interest in what I had to say,  you never judged me and while you allowed me to learn my own lessons in life, you were always available to help me if I were to stumble.

I love you for all the times that we played gin rummy when you knew it wasn't because I wanted us to play the game,  but so that I could tell you something important in my life, and have you share your advice in that special way that only you knew how to do.

I love you because when I told you something in confidence, I knew that it would stay  between you and I.

I love you because you helped me to grow and you nurtured my growth with kindness, love and respect.

I love you because you always had the right words to heal my wounds.

You were more than just my grandmother, you were my confidant, and you were my friend.

My life is so much better because of the guidance and friendship that you have given to me,  I will always keep a special place in my heart where you will reside,  now and for eternity.

Today, the world is a bit emptier now that you are gone, but you succeeded in leaving  your mark not only in your own doings, but in your daughter, my brother and myself as well as all of the people that you have touched along the way.

My life would not be as enriched as it is today had I not had you in my life.

I love you grandma,
-----------------------------

Thanks again all.

[Unitedcat]

I must say that text is Lovely, it's a whole poem !!

You was very strong to read that, when the air is filled with feelings...

You managed to bring me to tears with the beauty of the letter.

Very Very Beautiful

[RhiannOn]

My condolences to you and your family CB with the  loss of your Grandmother.

Your poem is very beautiful.